Kari Linton

Kari Linton

18 y/o

Kari Linton has way too much on her plate at her age. Between running an underground “business” and having a new baby, she was overwhelmed. Jay had been so much help. She would not have kept Joel if it wasn’t for him. She wanted a baby in the start, but after how taxing it was on her body and mental health her attitude started to change. She cried a lot when she was pregnant. More than she let Jay see. He was already trying so hard to be what Kari and Joel needed, she couldn’t deny that.

Yet it was times like this. She knew she was probably in the wrong, but she had stopped caring. She wanted to stop feeling, and the postpartum depression only made things worse. Along with the issues Kari was already internalizing, all of this around her made it worse. She had recently been drinking in the morning, in the bathroom away from Jay. She would at least try and brush her teeth to hide the scent on her breath. Jay was not the biggest fan of alcohol, and she knew that. But she could hide it, so it didn’t really even matter anyway. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right?

But the thing is Jay could always tell when something was off with Kari. He loved her more than he knew how to express. But it was not just Jay and Kari any longer, they had to take care of Joel. And Jay felt like he couldn’t get a break. It was Kari avoiding being home at all costs because she couldn’t handle the crying. And it was really hard to feel close to Joel, she felt so distant from the infant.

The living room was silent between the two adults. Joel was whining, no longer crying because it wasn’t as if anyone ever answered his cries anyway. He is just an infant, but he could tell the vibes in the air between his mom and dad were bitter. All of the yelling was scary.

Kari stood there with the new can of formula in her hands staring back at Jayden. Jay was upset, he was red in the face and his eyes were glossed over. He was trying not to cry. But the way Kari looked at him helplessly holding the formula while their child is still on the living room floor. He hated it. He hated this, and he hated that he had no other choice. What were the other options? There was not any. Kari was not capable of the responsibilities she had. And Jay felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders because he couldn't just let Kari deal with everything alone. But it was draining.

With their eyes locked, Jayden felt his head pounding. He could feel the warm wet tears roll down his face. Kari noticed the tears and looked away from Jayden. She didn’t like to see Jayden cry. She thought it was shameful for a man to cry in front of someone, she had never seen her own father cry. He just dealt with the cards he had and moved on. Crying was embarrassing for Kari, but it was even more embarrassing to watch the father of her child cry.

Jayden turned away from her, swiftly making his way to the door. It was raining outside, but he didn’t care. He needed to be alone for a minute, he did not want to cry in front of Kari. Yelling and arguing is one thing but at the end of these fights, Jayden can’t help but feel like he just needs to cry. But knowing how Kari felt when it came to crying made it incredibly hard to seek any kind of comfort in these situations. It was better to be alone.

The fresh air was nice. As nice as the fresh rainwater in the city can be. The house felt hot and stuffy, thick with tension in the air. Outside was cold. Freezing rain hitting his skin was grounding. It brought him back to reality, instead of the world of thoughts swirling through his head. It was not quite outside like it was back home in Copperdale at night. San Myshuno was bustling. The bus station was always being used, and you could hear the honking of the interstate. The gas station next door sometimes has some shady truck drivers staying in the lot. Somehow this was better than inside. For the time being.

Kari furiously made the formula for Joel. She hated that Jayden would leave when he is upset. She held her infant. Joel had a good appetite. He finished the bottle fast. But he still would not stop crying. She tried to hold him, bounce him and make him calm down. It didn’t work. Kari made sure he had a pacifier, maybe that would help him. Not really. And it felt like he cried forever. Nothing she was doing made him stop. She wanted to scream. After the day she has had, she just wanted to go home and curl up in bed. But this kid was here screaming. Her kid. Her firstborn kid. She did not have the time to deal with this. Jayden needed to get home. She was getting overwhelmed.

He will be fine. Jayden couldn’t have been far. He would find Joel soon, he usually is not gone for more than a few hours. Sure it was a little chilly out, but he would be okay. She needed to collect herself. She couldn’t even take care of herself right now. Kari had felt suicidal in the past, but after having this baby she has only spiraled more and more in her head. It was only getting worse. And with the news that she figured out after she left this morning, she was questioning if she should even try and go on. It would only make everything harder. For herself. And for Jayden.

And without even considering what could happen next, she laid Joel down in front of the front door. If he cried then surely Jayden would hear it. He was going to be pissed at her anyway so she might as well do her best to block everything out until she figured out what she was going to do.